Monday Night Wars: Stone Cold Stunner? Abyss slams Flair

Monday Night Wars in Review

WHERE THE HELL WAS THE STONE COLD STUNNER?!

I think RAW won tonight. TNA was just too scattered. Heels I thought were babyfaces and vice-versa...what gives?

RAW seemed like a more focused show, probably because of WrestleMania coming up.

Anyway, here's the thoughts on the shows as they unfolded.

Monday Night Wars: Shot By Shot

We started out watching RAW because of the icon that is Stone Cold Steve Austin.

For not being in action for years, Stone Cold is in fantastic shape.

They can't say, "break my foot off in his ass?"

I turn it over to TNA and Ric Flair is bleeding while AJ Styles is yelling at a facepainted Jeff Hardy. Yeah, I'm staying on RAW.

John Cena's music hit. I thought it would lead to some confrontation, but nope. Just an awkward transition to the WrestleMania rewind between Cena and the Big Show from WrestleMania 20.

Jesse Neal is still employed in the Hogan era? That's ridiculous.

We voted to go back to Cena/Big Show instead of watch the Nasty Boys and Jimmy Hart.

Beau says Big Show is more of a hardass than John Cena because he was in the Union. Remember them? Test, Ken Shamrock, Mankind, and the Big Show?

Batista causes the distraction for Big Show to hit the KO and pin Cena.

Back on TNA, Team 3D and the Nasty Boys are in a brawl. Jimmy Hart makes the pin. What? And Spike Dudley, er, Brother Runt is back? And Jesse Neal is babyface again? Wow, you miss a little you miss a lot.

Angelina Love issues a challenge against any of the Beautiful People.

Rego wonders if Sheamus only wrestles around St. Patrick's Day. While we discussed the possibilities, Sheamus destroys Evan Bourne. Billy asks if Triple H is going to come out, but Rego says he's got the luck of the Irish.

While Sheamus cuts his promo, The Band is backstage with Kevin Nash and Eric Young on TNA.

Desmond Wolfe and Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle and The Pope. We decide after Angle's belly-to-belly suplex that Billy should wrestle another Billy for a Billy-to-Billy suplex. Wolfe hit a nice armbar takedown. That match was fun.

"You think fake breasts should go under this much punishment?" says Rego about Maryse vs. Kelly Kelly. Maryse takes her out quick then does a post-match. Gail Kim and Eve make the save, but Simply Flawless shows up. Somebody asks, "why doesn't the referee stop this match?" Rego says, "He's too horny!"

The Beautiful People offer honorary member Daffney as Love's opponent. That ends up in a miss, so we tune back into an Undertaker/Shawn Michaels package. Rego talks about how sweet it would be to be the Undertaker's brother-in-law.

Michaels vs. Jericho was fun, until they took a commercial right away. Oh well, better before the match than during. Jericho leaves and almost gets counted out before Edge shows up and starts destroying Jericho.

Kevin Nash vs. Scott Hall. Hall is in sweats so I'm assuming this is a street fight or something. Syxx-pac shows up and the ref doesn't call for the bell, so I guess I'm right. They handcuff Nash and Eric Young shows up to try and even up the odds. And they are carrying a lot of bills.

Triple H vs. Randy Orton from WrestleMania goes up against Beer Money vs. Hernandez with Jeff Jarrett as the guest ref. Matt Morgan shows up and looks like he's gonna turn heel again. Beer Money wins.

Legacy comes out to beat on Orton. Triple H is about ready to trade blows with them when Sheamus comes out. Six-man or handicap match next week, I bet. Never thought I'd see Triple H save Orton. Well, maybe, but not a year after their super-intense rivalry.

Is Samoa Joe still around or...what?

I see on the replay that Foley gave Eric Bischoff the sock and shaved some of his hair. Haha.

Shannon Moore? No thanks.

Gorgeous George into the WWE Hall of Fame. Looooong overdue.

While Batista comes out, the Ultimate X is set up. Most of the X-Division is beating each other up, I don't even know who's out there. Kazarian, Generation Me, the Machine Guns, Brian Kendrick, Daniels, Amazing Red. Red hits a sweet flip onto a bunch of guys off the cables.

Abyss cuts a sweet promo on AJ and Ric Flair. I wish he wouldn't use Hogan's lines.

Batista Bombs Kofi Kingston. I wonder if it was a squash. I'm guessing it was since Michael Cole says he's sending a message.

Son of a bitch. They're putting the Vince McMahon and Bret Hart contract signing up against AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy.

What the hell is Abyss coming out to? This music sucks. He's the guest enforcer for the Hardy/Styles match.

RAW clearly wins here, without even seeing AJ/Hardy.

I liked the promos between the two. They signed the contract, and Bret revealed he's not injured. Apparently it was some big elaborate plan to coax McMahon into the match.

I check TNA and Abyss chokeslams Ric Flair through a table! Sweet.