WWE vs. TNA Review: Lethal Lockdown is set; everybody hates John Cena; Jack Swagger shoulda won; bisexuals are turned on by weird things

WWE vs. TNA in Review

Since TNA aired one hour earlier tonight, that means we got three hours of wrestling.

For some reason, TNA was obsessed with keys tonight. And it wasn't even spread out either. Right after a match where four Knockouts got keys, Mr. Anderson won the key to the cage at Lockdown.

We also finalized the Lethal Lockdown lineup.

Over on RAW, WWE had a more common theme - that is, setting up a few new feuds after WrestleMania (Randy Orton and Jack Swagger?, Christian and Ted DiBiase) while keeping a few around (Triple H and Sheamus, Batista and John Cena).

TNA Impact: Shot by Shot

I missed the first five minutes of Impact or so doing homework.

So glad to hear Abyss say he's still a weapon of mass destruction.

Why does TNA make such a big deal about the WWE Hall of Fame? Seriously, that's been the main plot behind the Abyss push. Flair mentioned it in his awesome promo. Focus on something else.

Speaking of Flair's promo, how do you think the interview process was like for Chelsea? "So...can you push a 60+-year-old man around in a wheelchair? You can? Great!"

If it looks like the heels are going to gang up on the babyfaces in the ring, why would the faces coming to the rescue take the slowest route through the crowd? Couldn't they at least come through that path RVD took on March 8 to surprise Sting?

They really need to change Rob Van Dam's music.

In keeping with making the slow save, it took Jeff Hardy a whole commercial break to attack James Storm.

I didn't catch what this lockbox challenge is all about, but it has thoroughly confused me with the Knockouts promo in the back.

Wasn't Homicide a heel?

And how hard was Homicide working to make "The Freak" Rob Terry look good? Maybe "good" isn't the right word. Maybe it should be "less awful."

Good GOD that chairshot Homicide gave to Rob Terry looked sick, especially since Terry immediately started to bleed. I hope they're not going to have him get repeatedly busted open hardway with a chair or it's well on the way to Chris Benoit territory.

I can only assume Homicide's chairshot turned Orlando Jordan on since he came out afterwards. What's confusing to me (besides the Orlando Jordan character) is whether he was turned on by the chairshot itself, or a bleeding and fuming Rob Terry.

Mike Tenay did his damndest to explain the clusterbomb that was Knockouts Lockdown Showdown. It's like they tried to put as many subplots as possible into one match. I won't even bother explaining the rules, so we'll wait to see the results of who opens what lockbox later.

But backstage, the show the boxes are open with what they have inside. So, the lockboxes are open? What's the point of the keys, then? Right, right, trying to use logic in pro wrestling.

TNA is really into keys tonight, since Angle and Mr. Anderson are in a ladder match to retrieve the key to find out who opens the cage first at Lockdown.

I wish we could see Angle adapt that move where he rushes up the ropes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but instead runs up the ladder and does it. That'd be awesome.

Man that fall Angle took looked sickening.

WWE vs. TNA: Shot by Shot

But even that match isn't stopping me from tuning into see the new World Heavyweight Champion, the ALL-AMERICAN AMERICAN, JACK SWAGGER. This State of the Championship stuff is great.

I like how Swagger put over Jericho as a superior champion than Cena. Speaking of which, I tune back to TNA upon hearing Cena's music.

Mr. Anderson takes the key after choking Angle out.

I hope David Otunga didn't pay for that shitty haircut. Otunga sets up Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton, as well as ShowMiz vs. ...Batista and John Cena. With the titles on the line. I guess it has been a few years since rivals won the titles together.

Meanwhile, The Band interrupts Team 3D vs. the Motor City Machine Guns and lays everybody out.

Triple H has a nice line about an Irishman bringing a pipe to a sledgehammer fight. Ha.

WWE does a "Dress to Impress" Divas battle royal, where the winner gets a match with Maryse. They are all in evening gowns like they're on the red carpet. Did the WWE creative team have a meeting with the TNA creative team tonight to see what ridiculous things they could put their women talents through tonight?

Man Maryse sucks on commentary. Eve goes on to face Maryse next week.

Not that I don't like both guys, but how many weeks in a row are we going to see the Pope vs. Desmond Wolfe?

I dunno if it was intentional or not, but I liked how Pope was knocked into the cameraman, like the production crew wasn't expecting AJ Styles to attack him.

WWE RAW in Review

Putting Cena and Batista together in a tag team match like Sandra Bullock and Jesse James? Wow, Michael Cole. Wow.

The match doesn't go long before Batista coaxes Cena out of the ring, and there's a countout. Otunga makes a rematch for later, except Otunga is in Batista's place.

Ted DiBiase came out with the Million Dollar Championship and my phone rang. I'm not too sad about that. Christian and DiBiase had a rematch from last week and DiBiase won. Meh.

There is a WWE Draft on April 26. Sweet.

I just realized I missed who opened the cases from the Knockouts lockbox match. Whatever.

Orton beat Jack Swagger in a decision I don't agree with. If you're trying to push your new champion, wouldn't you have him pin one of the hottest stars in the industry, even if by some schmoz? I know I would if I were on a creative team.

David Otunga heels on John Cena, allowing Miz and Big Show to win. I guess that's two in a row tonight. Batista comes out and lays out Cena, invoking his rematch clause in a Last Man Standing match at Extreme Rules.

WWE vs. TNA Review: Thank you, Shawn; Orlando Jordan baffles; Swagger flip-flops money in the bank; How was the cage match?

WWE vs. TNA in Review

Last week I thought TNA dominated RAW in the ring. I'm not sure about in-ring action tonight, but WWE had more of my interest.

Since everybody else is posting their thoughts on the retirement of Shawn Michaels, here's mine:

When I was 13 years old, I found out Shawn Michaels was coming to a Peoria Rivermen game. I'd never met a wrestler in person before. And who better to meet for my first time than Shawn Michaels?! I waited in line for an hour to get his autograph.

When I finally got there, he signed an 8x10 and I told him how big of a fan I was. Shawn looked up at me and said, "Thank you. You are a friend," and smiled. I was too star-struck to even shake his hand before I took the photo and left.

Shawn Michaels - the Heartbreak Kid, the Icon, the Main Event, the Showstopper, Mr. WrestleMania! - called me - 13-year-old Adam Bockler - a friend.

Thank you, Shawn.

WWE vs. TNA: Shot by Shot

I wonder if that was really Shawn Michaels' last match. Man I hope not. But if it is, I think it's been beautifully done. Thank you, Shawn.

I wonder if the Shawn Michaels farewell tonight will be anything like Ric Flair's two years ago.

That handshake between Lethal and Hogan both doing Macho Man impressions was pretty funny.

Batista called Cena's win a fluke, saying Cena still can't beat him.

Arizona hates John Cena. But Batista likes fishsticks, so...?

Over on TNA, Bubba the Love Sponge is hogging up the mic. Nash calls out Eric Young and wants him to join The Band. Young refuses, and gets beat up. Hardy and RVD make the save. Hardy makes it a steel cage match.

Batista doesn't want his rematch tonight, and then...

JACK SWAGGER shows up and starts nailing Cena with the briefcase. Is he cashing in?!

Cena counters, Swagger escapes, and waves off his cash-in.

Doug Williams and Brian Kendrick vs. Kazarian and Shannon Moore was probably entertaining, but I thought RAW had this beat since I missed the beginning of it.

What's up with all the legends? Maybe Randy Orton will slay all of them again. Well, it looks like it's a Hot Tub Time Machine plug. Maybe they're going back in time.

But no, it's a WWE Legends lumberjack match with Christian vs. Ted DiBiase. Well this just makes no sense at all! Other than the fact that Ted Sr. was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, of course.

Seeing Ricky Steamboat reminds me I still need to see Steamboat/Jericho from Backlash 2009.

Sgt. Slaughter does not look good bald. I know he's always been bald, pretty much, but he at least has had a hat in later years.

The WWE Legends start beating the shit out of each other and Christian hits the Killswitch. Man, will DiBiase ever catch a break? I don't know if heeling on his dad will do it.

How come tag team splits aren't as memorable as the Rockers' split? Oh, wait...nevermind.

Dammit, I missed a Pope promo? Weak.

For not really doing much, Chelsea got a chant coming out. I like how Pope knew it was a set-up and caught Desmond Wolfe off at the pass, then proceeded to still "get some" of Chelsea before putting a dollar in her bewbz.

Not gonna lie, I'd do that entrance at Axxess if I was there. Maybe if it comes to St. Louis...

How easy do the Bella Twins have it?

Orlando Jordan enters from the top wearing caution tape and being really...really weird. What. In the hell. Is this. Just because you're bisexual doesn't mean you have to be INSANE. And all he does is sit with a chick and a dude? F'n lame.

I legit lol'd when Sheamus hit Triple H from behind with a lead pipe during Hunter's "emotional" speech.

Tara and Daffney gets started right away (well, about 10 minutes after the "next" graphic). Even with the makeup, is it weird I think Daffney is smokin' hot? I bet she'd look 10x better without all of it.

WWE is redoing the Divas match from WrestleMania? I heard it was shitty once, why even revisit it? I don't know how this went, since I watched Daffney lick her own blood, because when I came back they were recapping Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon from WrestleMania X.

The PW Torch posted on Twitter that Samoa Joe actually does still exist. Okay?

Jeff Jarrett vs. AJ Styles...oh man, sorry guys. I bet that match would be good, but I gotta watch Bret Hart.

Somebody said Bret Hart wasn't the most precise in his promos during his recent run, but they've been very real. He's a guy who really makes me, at least, believe in the Hitman character.

It's nice that the younger WWE Universe still respects Owen Hart.

Miz's heel work was pretty good on the Hitman. Bret, however, had a grin on his face the whole time.

It's about damn time the Hart Dynasty and Bret Hart show up on TV together. A real set of #1 contenders? I'm down with it.

Jeff Jarrett used a pedigree? Huh.

Love the heel move of walking out on the match. Just straight-up leaving. I've always loved that tactic.

Man, this is going to be hard to do. Cage match on TNA or HBK's retirement? I think HBK has to win...

Ha. Mark Henry in a hot tub. Hornswoggle's back? Wow, I didn't miss him.

Did anybody think to say before Jack Swagger got his new ring attire that he looked like a Team Angle reject? Really, nobody caught that one?

Seriously, though, I'm stoked that Swagger's getting a new push.

Wouldn't it just be ridiculous if John Cena picked Shawn Michaels to tag with?

Yeah, it would be. But not as ridiculous as his actual partner...Randy Orton?! Tweener no more, Orton has to be a full-fledged heel to be teaming with Cena. I really wish Cole and Lawler would have put over that they still hate each other, but Orton just wanted to shitstomp Batista for...well, I don't really know what. Didn't he already get his revenge on Batista for kicking him out of Evolution? Are they still using that as fodder for Orton to be pissed?

Oh, it's Swagger that slithers away this week.

Wolfe defeats the Pope after using a chain as Chelsea distracted the ref. If this was EWR, "The crowd got tired of seeing Chelsea in so many segments."

As Kurt Angle enters on TNA, I turn back to RAW. I still hate myself for becoming an Orton fan because he turned into a babyface? You know, if they really wanted to get Randy Orton over, he would RKO John Cena since Phoenix hates him. And they would stop letting Michael Cole do commentary, because he just makes Orton seem lame.

I thought it was weird Anderson announced a match between him and Angle next week on Impact...and the crowd was dead. He announces a ladder match, and they react more for that. Winner grabs the key for the man advantage at Lockdown.

It's the Shawn Michaels farewell and uh...there's no audio. Oh great, my TV's audio went out.

I had to run downstairs to catch the HBK speech. As a fan, I really hope Shawn makes the retirement match mean something again. On the other hand, I'll miss him as a performer and entertainer.

WrestleMania 26 Predictions: Bret Hart triumphs; RIP HBK; Batista, Chris Jericho retain;

Please post a comment below with your thoughts! And don't forget to share/retweet!

I've done my best to come up with my predictions for the Super Bowl of wrestling this Sunday, WrestleMania 26. I realized too late that most of my booking was done logically (or so I think), and there is lots in professional wrestling that defies logic.

The card is arranged as to how I feel the matches should be presented - main events interspersed between lowercard matches. The Divas match didn't fit that mold, so I just threw it in. I'm thinking WWE feels the same way about it anyway.

Too bad I don't have a Windows partition working on my Mac - I'd love to book this show using EWR.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Winner: Christian

This has already been slated to open to show. While it is an interesting pool of contenders featuring a lot of breakout stars, I'm betting this year's Mr. Money in the Bank is going to be Christian.

Kofi was thrown in at the last minute, and with the exception of Drew McIntyre, none of the rest of these guys have been pushed lately. I think Christian has the most fans behind him, especially during his ECW days.

If Christian or Kofi aren't the winners, this match will be used to rejuvenate any talent that has been lost in the shuffle. My out-of-left-field prediction has Jack Swagger winning. Man, I'd love to see that!

World Heavyweight Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho (c)
Winner and still champion: Chris Jericho

I think this feud has been overlooked in the build to WrestleMania. This is a potential show-stealer (along with Rey/Punk, Taker/HBK), and I feel like the build-up has been weak.

The story is there - Chris Jericho bashes Edge and his injury after the two were supposed to be a tag team, Edge wins the Royal Rumble and makes it clear he wants Jericho. But the TV time hasn't equaled the good story. Hopefully this continues into Backlash with some sort of gimmick match.

I hope Edge doesn't win, because we've seen this formula before with Triple H in 2002: babyface wins the Royal Rumble and beats Chris Jericho at WrestleMania. Chris Jericho should add a new element to his heel character by not letting this happen again. That would lead to a fun post-WrestleMania interview on SmackDown about how Jericho has evolved.

WWE Unified Tag Team Titles: R-Truth and John Morrison vs. ShowMiz (c)
Winners and new champions: R-Truth and John Morrison

There's got to be some title change on the show, and I think this will be one. I don't know if Big Show and the Miz will split up, but I think Truth and Morrison have acted like more of a tag team than most of the title challengers in the past few months.

For that, and because it's my only predicted title change on the show, I think R-Truth might finally get a solid push starting by teaming with Morrison. The two have some very fun potential matches together when they split, too. I'd like to see how Truth does as a heel since I can't remember ever seeing that.

Vince McMahon vs. Bret Hart
Winner: Bret Hart

Bret Hart's biggest beef he's held since 1997 has been with one person. I think him kicking Vince's ass would be the storybook ending to what has become, as WWE put it, the mythic saga of what happened in Montreal.

10-Diva Tag Team Match: Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Eve, Gail Kim & Beth Phoenix vs. Michelle McCool, Maryse, Layla, Alicia Fox & Vickie Guerrero
Winners: Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Eve, Gail Kim & Beth Phoenix

This is a tough one to call based on its less-than-thriller build-up. I'm thinking since the heels have the champions, the faces need the win.

After the last match, the crowd will have to take some time and regroup before and our next match...

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio
Winner: CM Punk

I originally had Mysterio get some heat back here by winning the match, but based on being sandwiched between two babyface winners, I want a heel to counter the Hitman/Undertaker wins. Plus, Punk is one of the best heels in the WWE right now (with Jericho and for a time, the Miz). Punk has had some stellar showings on the mic, and I hope his wrestling ability shows up at the same level of his promos in recent weeks. For how short this has been an official match, they've done well with it.

Along with Taker/HBK, and Edge/Jericho, this match has all the right ingredients for "Match of the Year" candidate.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes
Winner: Randy Orton

In my original post, I forgot all about this match. While an obvious error, it definitely wasn't surprising given my lack of interest in it.

If Orton's domination so far and the crappy build-up of this angle mean anything, he'll win here.

Streak vs. Career: Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
Winner: Undertaker

If anybody in WWE creative really thinks that the Streak should be broken, they should be punched in the balls. Hard. For all the work Taker has done for them, I think the Streak should be the one thing in wrestling that goes untouched.

Shawn Michaels can always come back from retirement. The Streak can't be recreated.

Triple H vs. Sheamus
Winner: Sheamus

My guess is that Sheamus goes over here. Triple H pinned Sheamus in the Elimination Chamber, a fact I had to look up on the Internet since I've apparently been watching Impact when their segments are on.

WWE Title: John Cena vs. Batista (c)
Winner and still champion: Batista

Unfortunately, I think this is going to close the show. They spent so much time hyping it on RAW this past Monday that I think it's bound to come down to it.

Batista is getting really hot in his heel turn, and I think he's going to beat John Cena. If Super Cena shows up this early in their program, it's going to kill any momentum Batista has earned. I'm thinking this feud is going to continue at least till Backlash, if not until Summerslam.

WWE NXT Review: Rookie tag matches; Daniel Bryan goes 0-5; seriously, you guys...WrestleMania

NXT in Review

If you're catching this on Hulu sometime over the next few days, you can watch all the wrestling in about 15 minutes. No vignettes that we haven't seen before and no shocking news.

The matches weren't bad, but this show was heavily used to pump WrestleMania.

Next week, the pros vote.

Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel d. Skip Sheffield & Wade Barrett by pinfall when Slater pinned Sheffield.

Darren Young & David Otunga d. Daniel Bryan and Michael Tarver when Otunga pinned Bryan.

NXT: Shot By Shot

Regal came out with his rookie's team, but Christian watched from the ramp. I wonder where the rest of the pros where.

Sheffield's retro stalling vertical suplex into the facebuster was a unique twist on an old move.

On looks alone, I think Wade Barrett has the look closest to a typical WWE wrestler.

Cool finish of Barrett hitting a boot to Sheffield on accident. This was a fun opener.

With the rest of the rookies in tag team action later, that probably means lots of videos and WrestleMania promos tonight. I didn't read spoilers yet, since this was taped last night.

Cool Undertaker/HBK package. Still not as cool as that one a few weeks ago right after Elimination Chamber, though.

This Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon video was a nice recap of their story. I wonder why they don't put these on their YouTube account.

You think the live audience had to sit through all these videos? Man that would be boring. I hope not...that'd be five hours.

Carlito and Punk are the pros out for the main event tag team match. They should really follow up with the Miz. I guess David Otunga was with the Miz on the red carpet in Hollywood...weird.

Josh giggles like an 8-year-old that CM Punk is talking with the Straight-Edge Society instead of watching the match.

Daniel Bryan pinned again? Wow.

WWE vs. TNA Review: Impact dominates RAW; Lockdown build begins; you heard of a thing called WrestleMania?

WWE vs. TNA in Review

TNA Impact blew WWE RAW out of the water tonight! TNA had way more exciting matches and I thought the show, on the whole, was the best of the three since moving to Mondays.

RAW had a lot of build toward WrestleMania, which was good. But it's all stuff we knew about - no exciting curveballs, no new matches. So, as far as the unpredictability factor, TNA won. I think as far as just the television show itself goes, that's why I think it won tonight.

WWE vs. TNA: Shot by Shot

Eric Bischoff is shredding on guitar on the Impact Zone for no apparent reason. Well that's a new start to a wrestling show. But it was a unique way to bring out Jeff Jarrett, so that was kinda cool. The crowd really popped for Jarrett hitting him with the guitar, so that was sweet.

Over on RAW, Shawn Michaels was calling out the Undertaker.

Pete Rose comes out when Michaels gets through with his promo, and Bob asks, "Is Kane gonna fuck him up?" Pete sets up a match between HBK and Kane, hoping HBK will get revenge on Kane for him.

Wait wait...didn't John Cena's neck break before his match with Batista at Summerslam '08?

And Bischoff is...still in the ring when they get back from commercial. Lame. Nice line about firing Jarrett or Mick Foley via FedEx. Bischoff sets up Jeff Jarrett vs. Mick Foley where both careers are on the line. Loser gets fired; winner is Bischoff's bitch.

Daffney threatening to stomp the spider and the Beautiful People sneak attack was pretty fun. This brings out Angelina Love, Sarita, and Taylor Wilde. This 8-Knockout match makes sense to me based on the story over the past few weeks. They had a real fun match with all of them hitting their finishers. Daffney hits the Lobotomy neckbreaker for the win.

Big Show and R-Truth are on commentary for The Miz vs. John Morrison. It was nice seeing the Asai moonsault by Morrison again. We missed the rest of the match watching the Knockouts match, but Big Show looked pissed at the end.

At least Triple H recognized his past with Randy Orton.

Abyss with red and yellow patches? LAME!

It's about time we have the final Money in the Bank qualifier. Jack Swagger on commentary? Nice. Kozlov dominated most of the match but Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere.

I wonder what that conversation was like. "What's Kofi doing for Wrestlemania? Oh shit, we better throw him in!"

Flair cuts a fired-up promo which leads to Sting being the captain for Team Flair. I thought they might do Flair/Hogan. Is Abyss the captain for Team Hogan? Yep.

The heels ambush the faces and the Pope comes out to dominate. Good, that's how the #1 contender should look.

Back on RAW, Legacy talks about how Orton needed them. This is just boring since I don't care about this storyline at all.

Tomko's back? Again? Wait, is that really Tomko? Because he's fat.

Who's gonna get the heel heat for bumping Triple H off the ropes when he spits the water? Seriously!

Triple H hesitates and neglects to tag Orton. Man, he's gonna get a huge pop when he gets in. He does and wrecks everybody until Sheamus hits the pump kick.

Mick Foley bitches about Bischoff putting him in a suit. Didn't he voluntarily dress in a suit for Vince McMahon?

Foley/Jarrett guest refs are Beer Money? Sweet. The crowd has dueling chants.

You know, if Mick Foley took so many chair shots to the head (and other dangerous moves), how come he's not suicidal like so many other wrestlers?

Isn't it about time for Santino or the Divas (or both) to show up?

Why the hell are they giving Bret the "what?" chant? Those idiots in San Jose should be smacked.

Nice zinger by Bret Hart on Vince McMahon driving half his family out of the WWE. Haha. Zinger or not, this promo is going on too long.

Apparently Jarrett beat Mick Foley. I wonder what this means for Foley now. But Beer Money beats on Jarrett. Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam come out to save Jarrett. That could be a fun feud - Hardy/RVD vs. Beer Money.

Finally, RVD gets to talk in TNA and he makes the challenge. But good Lord is his theme song terrible!

Beau: "Heartbreak Old Man is more like it!"

Kane beats up Shawn Michaels and - UNDERTAKER! MY GOD HE'S PISSED! CHOKESLAM!

They do a sweet switcheroo between the episodes of darkness switching out Undertaker and Kane. But HBK still beats Kane.

Man they're really building Cena/Batista. That's all I see on RAW tonight is promos.

Hey where's Hornswoggle?

Bob Uecker into the WWE Hall of Fame. Eh.

Hahaha - Kane dragging Pete Rose into his locker room. So cartoonish but so fun.

So...Hernandez got the Carbon Footprint into the steel post?

What the hell are Hulk Hogan, Shannon Moore, and Dixie Carter doing backstage with Hernandez leaving in the ambulance? Especially Shannon Moore?

There's an 8-Diva tag team match but it's so short I didn't catch who all was in it. Michelle McCool hits the Styles Clash (or whatever she calls it) for the win. Seeing Vickie Guerrero, Bob goes, "Who's the fuckin' teacher?"

Mike Tenay said Spike TV was going to stay with RVD and Jeff Hardy vs. Beer Money until the conclusion, but then they took a commercial break. Weak.

Batista finally shows up and...I still don't care. But this dark arena and one spotlight on him does look pretty cool. I like his honest heel tact, too. But TNA's main event is winning out so I'm not seeing all the promo.

Did Mr. Anderson or Kurt Angle show up on TNA tonight?

Jeff Hardy can lose the cargo pants. It's not 1998 anymore.

Of all matches to announce for next week, they announce Tara vs. Daffney in a First Blood match. Weird.

That DDT RVD took looked painful!

The combo of Swanton Bomb and Five-Star Frog Splash was pretty sweet. That main event was super fun to watch.

I thought that was it, but Eric Young showed up, declaring Scott Hall, Syxx, and Kevin Nash vs. Eric Young, Hardy, and Rob Van Dam. I can dig it.

I tune back into RAW and, surprise surprise, John Cena stands tall as Batista walks out.

WWE NXT Review: Barrett, Slater, Young want votes; The Great Khali destroys Daniel Bryan

Sorry for this being late. I went out Tuesday night while NXT was on and had to wait till Hulu put it up.

NXT in Review

This week's focus was on the rookies trying to impress their pros. Not that it never is, but we found out this week that the votes will be cast in two weeks. Exactly what the votes will be based on is unknown, though Michael Cole and Josh Matthews were paying more attention to win-loss records tonight.

Darren Young & CM Punk d. Matt Hardy and Justin Gabriel when Punk hit the GTS on Hardy and Young got the pin.

The Great Khali d. Daniel Bryan by pinfall.

Heath Slater d. Michael Tarver by pinfall.

Wade Barrett d. Skip Sheffield by pinfall.

NXT Shot by Shot

This week, they're adding the records to the Twitter account. I like that. Not that it means anything in a scripted environment, but it adds to the competition feel.

It'll take two more weeks for rookie evaluations. I really wonder how that's going to turn out. Clearly they're pushing Daniel Bryan as the top star, so I'm thinking somebody else will be the actual NXT winner.

I wonder if any NXT guys will show up at WrestleMania. Daniel Bryan said he bought a new suit for the event.

Michael Cole points out the rookies are trying to impress the pros, which is the logical explanation of why the pros weren't in the ring all that match in the opening tag match. That makes sense. It's hard to impress other pros when your pro is doing all the work in the ring.

Kevin Rudolf's "I Made It" just doesn't fit the gravity of the Undertaker/Shawn Michaels feud, or the WrestleMania feel. I guess it's different than the nu-metal garbage they usually use, but at least that fits a little better.

Justin Gabriel needs to watch some more Christpher Daniels matches if he wants to do that leg sweep takedown better.

Nice swerve seeing Young and Punk function as a team, only for Young to get the Gallows Pole (or is it Poll?) I thought maybe Punk and Young had finally come to a working agreement.

We didn't even get a Daniel Bryan entrance? Where's the Miz at?

And the Great Khali looks more and more like a buffoon every time he's on television.

Michael Cole continues his hate campaign on Daniel Bryan and the Internet has a whole. He just sounds like an idiot here.

Bryan goes 0-4 and he's going to get his heat back...well, no. He gets chokeslammed by the Big Show. I really hope he does something sweet next week because he hasn't gotten the best treatment since that first exchange with the Miz and awesome match with Chris Jericho.

With his smug attitude and obvious marketing potential by being a Harvard law student and Hollywood party guy, I think David Otunga might have a future in WWE past NXT.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Heath Slater = douche. That torpedo plancha (or whatever it was) that he did to Michael Tarver looked pretty sweet, though.

Wow, Michael Tarver has some stupid tattoos. Not really in and of themselves, but just their placement. Stupid tattoos or not, I'm digging that he uses the T-bone suplex.

Have I also said Skip Sheffield = douche? That leather vest is too close to Stone Cold Steve Austin's for my tastes.

Jericho yelling at the commentators putting over Wade Barrett is fantastic. This how Ric Flair should be managing AJ Styles - letting him do his own thing and making sure he's the star.

Josh Matthews busts out "vintage?" And for a Skip Sheffield splash? Lame.

Monday Night Wars: Stone Cold Stunner? Abyss slams Flair

Monday Night Wars in Review

WHERE THE HELL WAS THE STONE COLD STUNNER?!

I think RAW won tonight. TNA was just too scattered. Heels I thought were babyfaces and vice-versa...what gives?

RAW seemed like a more focused show, probably because of WrestleMania coming up.

Anyway, here's the thoughts on the shows as they unfolded.

Monday Night Wars: Shot By Shot

We started out watching RAW because of the icon that is Stone Cold Steve Austin.

For not being in action for years, Stone Cold is in fantastic shape.

They can't say, "break my foot off in his ass?"

I turn it over to TNA and Ric Flair is bleeding while AJ Styles is yelling at a facepainted Jeff Hardy. Yeah, I'm staying on RAW.

John Cena's music hit. I thought it would lead to some confrontation, but nope. Just an awkward transition to the WrestleMania rewind between Cena and the Big Show from WrestleMania 20.

Jesse Neal is still employed in the Hogan era? That's ridiculous.

We voted to go back to Cena/Big Show instead of watch the Nasty Boys and Jimmy Hart.

Beau says Big Show is more of a hardass than John Cena because he was in the Union. Remember them? Test, Ken Shamrock, Mankind, and the Big Show?

Batista causes the distraction for Big Show to hit the KO and pin Cena.

Back on TNA, Team 3D and the Nasty Boys are in a brawl. Jimmy Hart makes the pin. What? And Spike Dudley, er, Brother Runt is back? And Jesse Neal is babyface again? Wow, you miss a little you miss a lot.

Angelina Love issues a challenge against any of the Beautiful People.

Rego wonders if Sheamus only wrestles around St. Patrick's Day. While we discussed the possibilities, Sheamus destroys Evan Bourne. Billy asks if Triple H is going to come out, but Rego says he's got the luck of the Irish.

While Sheamus cuts his promo, The Band is backstage with Kevin Nash and Eric Young on TNA.

Desmond Wolfe and Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle and The Pope. We decide after Angle's belly-to-belly suplex that Billy should wrestle another Billy for a Billy-to-Billy suplex. Wolfe hit a nice armbar takedown. That match was fun.

"You think fake breasts should go under this much punishment?" says Rego about Maryse vs. Kelly Kelly. Maryse takes her out quick then does a post-match. Gail Kim and Eve make the save, but Simply Flawless shows up. Somebody asks, "why doesn't the referee stop this match?" Rego says, "He's too horny!"

The Beautiful People offer honorary member Daffney as Love's opponent. That ends up in a miss, so we tune back into an Undertaker/Shawn Michaels package. Rego talks about how sweet it would be to be the Undertaker's brother-in-law.

Michaels vs. Jericho was fun, until they took a commercial right away. Oh well, better before the match than during. Jericho leaves and almost gets counted out before Edge shows up and starts destroying Jericho.

Kevin Nash vs. Scott Hall. Hall is in sweats so I'm assuming this is a street fight or something. Syxx-pac shows up and the ref doesn't call for the bell, so I guess I'm right. They handcuff Nash and Eric Young shows up to try and even up the odds. And they are carrying a lot of bills.

Triple H vs. Randy Orton from WrestleMania goes up against Beer Money vs. Hernandez with Jeff Jarrett as the guest ref. Matt Morgan shows up and looks like he's gonna turn heel again. Beer Money wins.

Legacy comes out to beat on Orton. Triple H is about ready to trade blows with them when Sheamus comes out. Six-man or handicap match next week, I bet. Never thought I'd see Triple H save Orton. Well, maybe, but not a year after their super-intense rivalry.

Is Samoa Joe still around or...what?

I see on the replay that Foley gave Eric Bischoff the sock and shaved some of his hair. Haha.

Shannon Moore? No thanks.

Gorgeous George into the WWE Hall of Fame. Looooong overdue.

While Batista comes out, the Ultimate X is set up. Most of the X-Division is beating each other up, I don't even know who's out there. Kazarian, Generation Me, the Machine Guns, Brian Kendrick, Daniels, Amazing Red. Red hits a sweet flip onto a bunch of guys off the cables.

Abyss cuts a sweet promo on AJ and Ric Flair. I wish he wouldn't use Hogan's lines.

Batista Bombs Kofi Kingston. I wonder if it was a squash. I'm guessing it was since Michael Cole says he's sending a message.

Son of a bitch. They're putting the Vince McMahon and Bret Hart contract signing up against AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy.

What the hell is Abyss coming out to? This music sucks. He's the guest enforcer for the Hardy/Styles match.

RAW clearly wins here, without even seeing AJ/Hardy.

I liked the promos between the two. They signed the contract, and Bret revealed he's not injured. Apparently it was some big elaborate plan to coax McMahon into the match.

I check TNA and Abyss chokeslams Ric Flair through a table! Sweet.

WWE SmackDown Review: Chris Jericho dodges Edge's spear

Instead of doing the blog as a play-by-play with opinions, I'm going to offer strictly my thoughts on the show as it unfolds. Anybody can see the show as it unfolds, but nobody is going to think about the show exactly the same. Plus, it might shorten up the length a little bit.

SmackDown in Review

CM Punk continues to dominate on the microphone, displaying his singing skills tonight while wishing Rey Mysterio's daughter a happy birthday. With the exception of the short Tiffany vs. Michelle McCool bout, all the angles that aired here had WrestleMania implications.

Drew McIntyre has weaseled his way into Money in the Bank, and R-Truth's defeat of the Miz was evened up with The Big Show's dominance of John Morrison. Even Kane's match with Luke Gallows was something of a set-up for Rey Mysterio to come get some of Punk.

And Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel closed when he got the advantage over Edge's spear. This should've happened the first time when the spear got super popular, but whatever.

SmackDown: Shot by Shot

Only wrestling fans would chant, "Hap-py birth-day, clap, clap, clap-clap-clap."

Man, I wish I could grow CM Punk's beard. One of these days...

Punk makes a nice reference to us watching Mysterio's son Dominic grow up before our eyes. I remember Dominic in 2005 about the age his sister probably is now for his dad's feud with Eddie Guerrero.

Seeing R-Truth pass the mic to the white dude with backwards hat and a mustache was hilarious. As was the trashy looking guy with the beard and hat that looked like he just came in from smoking a square and jonesing for some dip.

I like how Truth brought David Otunga out with him, as the Miz was also joined by a reluctant Daniel Bryan. Nice NXT integration into the shows. But what happened after Tuesday when Miz said he didn't want anything to do with Bryan anymore?

R-Truth's "Lie Detector" finisher looks like it hurts Truth way more than Miz.

I can't help but think that WWE kind of blew it with the Miz and John Morrison. They had one match and never really followed up. I just don't think a tag match with interim tag teams is the best way to go about it.

I'm so stoked for Stone Cold Steve Austin to guest host RAW this coming Monday. Without a doubt one of my favorite entertainers.

I love that they are giving more attention to the Undertaker and Shawn Michaels program this year. Between the Johnny Cash's "Ain't No Grave" and the WWE superstars talking about this match, it definitely has a lot to live up to.

I wonder if this Aaron Bolo dude is going to work for WWE more often. I hope they told him to throw his elbows out before he lost to Drew. If not and he's winning MMA fights, his competition must really suck not to attack those ribs right away.

The pyro that has been added to Morrison's slow-mo intro is a really cool visual.

Is Bret Hart ever going to help give the rub to the Hart Dynasty?

It was at Cryme Tyme was entering when MyNetworkTV cut to a commercial break and reverted back to Big Show's match with John Morrison. They finally came back to promote WrestleMania rewind and Michelle McCool vs. Tiffany.

According to spoilers, the Undertaker spoiled the match by taking out all four individuals.

Tiffany's wearing a white pleated skirt, possibly my least favorite piece of attire on a woman. Actually, I take that back. It's not my least favorite. Ugg boots and sweatpants are. I wonder who the hell started that look in the first place, and why so many college girls settled with it.

I like how Vickie Guerrero ran straight to the back after being nailed by Beth Phoenix. It was different than the usual formula of "heel looks on from the entrance ramp as face stays in the ring."

Luke Gallows looks like he got his idea for ring attire from the Truth Commission.

Matt Striker says, "It's almost like Kane vs. Bizarro Kane." Is he aware that this actually happened a few years ago?

Matt also says Chris Jericho "slithered" out of the Elimination Chamber with the title. Isn't that verb trademarked to Monday Night RAW in reference to Randy Orton? Or at least, to Michael Cole?

I guess one of my main gripes with the WrestleMania title matches is the focus on the heel champions (Chris Jericho and Batista) targeting the injuries the faces (Edge and John Cena) have suffered along the way. Both Jericho and Batista have uttered the phrase, "bad things happen to you" when each is in the ring with their opponent.

Why focus on the spear? I mean honestly. Batista uses it too. It's not like it's exclusive to Edge.

After that title shot, I couldn't help but think - if there's one advantage to the PG rating, it prevents the misuse of blood. I think whenever we see blood on WWE TV again, it'll be that much more impressive. Seeing it every week watered it down. Take note, TNA.

WWE NXT Review: The Miz hates Daniel Bryan

NXT in Review

I liked this show a lot better than last week's. I think the Miz and Daniel Bryan have an interesting dynamic. In hindsight, not pairing Bryan with William Regal is probably better for him at this point. The Miz is becoming a hot commodity in the WWE and fans just want to see him get his ass kicked by somebody. I'm really digging a match between these two down the road.

This show did a lot better job of profiling the wrestlers. The only one that didn't get much time was Michael Tarver, who cheered on Carlito instead.

Minus the RAW Rebound and WrestleMania push, plus commercials, this show could probably watched in 30-35 minutes.

NXT: Shot by Shot

If I missed anything in the first 3 minutes, I apologize. I had an emergency meeting for class.

Matt Striker tried to explain the NXT competition again, but didn't really add anything, I didn't think.

The first match is David Otunga and R-Truth vs. Daniel Bryan and The Miz.

I'm kind of surprised they don't involve the Big Show much with Daniel Bryan and his tag partner, the Miz. Especially since R-Truth is involved in this match. Yeah, I almost forgot R-Truth and John Morrison have formed an interim tag team to battle ShowMiz at WrestleMania.

Miz cuts a promo on Bryan for going 0-2 and doesn't think he's proven himself to the pros. If they don't win tonight, Miz says, he's kicking Daniel Bryan off NXT.

Josh Matthews says Otunga and Truth have patched things up. They do hit a sweet double-team where they wind up and Truth flips over the top rope onto Miz and Bryan on the outside.

The story of the match was dissension between Miz and Daniel Bryan. Miz ends up losing for their team. Post match, Miz flinches after Bryan feigned a punch and Bryan walks away. Wow, I guess Otunga and Truth are really straight again.

Heath Slater cries about getting spit in the face with an apple by Carlito. The look and content reminded me of some idiot bitching the Real World.

We finally get a look at Justin Gabriel, who also has a martial arts background. Maybe they'll do an MMA bout down the line with Gabriel and Michael Tarver. Matt Hardy pumps him up for his main event shot and says he'll be the first WWE rookie to beat a WWE pro. All right, he's got a point, but that's semantics. John Cena beating Kurt Angle in 2002 was pretty huge for loyal SmackDown viewers.

Chris Jericho and Wade Barrett show up to intimidate Gabriel by putting over Barrett's victory over the Daniel Bryan last week.

I like how during the entrances, they show who the rookies' mentors are, and vice-versa.

Why does Michael Tarver have 1.9 written on all sides of his shirt? Josh Matthews later explains that's how many seconds it takes for Tarver to knock somebody out.

Slater ducks an apple spit from Carlito and gets the upper hand before they cut to commercial. That's a weird spot to break, but whatever. Later on, Carlito hits a big boot and Tarver says Slater's going to need to go to the dentist. I like stuff like that during matches.

The match was a pretty fun back-and-forth match. Christian took Carlito's apple, then told Christian he was going to embarrass his rookie. They do a series of roll-ups and finally Slater gets the pin. I guess Heath Slater was the first to beat a WWE pro, not Justin Gabriel. Oh well, Gabriel can still be the second, right?

Darren Young is profiled and says it's all about entertaining and having fun, likening his favorite wrestlers to Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat and Shawn Michaels.

CM Punk involves Serena and Luke Gallows in reminding Young that he's the pro before telling Young he should adopt a straight-edge lifestyle.

Wait wait, Gabriel's wrestling Wade Barrett? I thought he was wrestling Chris Jericho. Did I watch the promo I thought I watched?

Why is "Be Yourself" a WrestleMania theme song? Didn't it get played enough during one of the Diva Searches?

That RAW Rebound with Vince McMahon vs. John Cena was just as stupid in recap form as it was live.

We find out Wade Barrett's rose colors mean different things every week. A little weird, but okay.

The dumbass crowd chants "USA!" and Josh Matthews doesn't get it either. The only American at ringside, besides the announcers, is Matt Hardy. I would posit a guess that speaking English is the only requirement to get that chance, but every one of them speaks English. Reminds me of a match in Peoria between La Resistance and Chris Benoit and Edge, where our local yokels chanted "USA!" too.

Gabriel defeats Barrett with the 450 Splash and goes 2-0 on NXT.

Monday Night Wars: TNA Impact vs. WWE RAW

The past couple weeks I've been posting reviews on WWE RAW without having looked at TNA Impact. I don't watch Impact because I'm typically in class for the first half.

But tonight, I sat with some friends to watch the official kickoff of the new Monday Night Wars.

Of course, if you recall, January 4 was a record night for TNA, shaped by lots of surprises and the official debut of the Hulk Hogan regime. The night also featured Bret Hart's first live appearance on WWE RAW in twelve years.

The Monday Night Wars in Review

I thought TNA won the night, as far as excitement goes, by a long shot. I felt a lot of the material was must-see stuff, despite the so-so acting. Sting's heel turn, cemented by the return of Rob Van Dam, was a new twist on a character that has stood behind everything that's right in TNA for so long. Jeff Hardy and Shannon Moore also showed up for the party, too.

Everything on RAW seemed like it was too much of the same stuff and that we've gotten better shows the last couple of weeks.

Let's see how we watched wrestling as the night unfolded...

The Monday Night War: Shot By Shot

The surprise of the first five minutes of TNA is Impact kicking off with Hulk Hogan and Abyss vs. Ric Flair and AJ Styles. Man, if you'd told me in 2006 that Abyss, James Mitchell's weapon of mass destruction, would become a baby and team with Hulk Hogan I would've laughed so hard. But it's 2010, and here we are. Over on RAW, the crowd is pretty dull for the Underatker compared to the energetic Impact Zone. AJ wearing Flair's robe looks ridiculous, especially one that looks like a Wal-Mart version of Flair's high-class one.

They don't have much of a match, because Sting turns heel to help out Flair and Styles. Sting nails Hogan and Abyss with the bat. This is like TNA's moment when Hogan formed the NWO. As Brooke watched on, I looked at my friend and said she should show her boobs to appease Ric Flair and AJ Styles.

While this was happening, I turned back to see Michaels and Undertaker having a segment on their match at WrestleMania that looked like it would probably have been good if I'd watched the whole thing. Rego also informed me that the Undertaker at one point made a pass at his older sister while she was setting up a WWE live event at the Peoria Civic Center. PWinsider said their match is now No DQ and can only be won by pinfall or submission.

Flair is pissed at Abyss and Hogan and cuts a fired-up promo on 'em backstage. Abyss is SUPER pissed, raking his fingers through his bloody hair and punching the wall. WWE counters this with a 6-Diva tag - Gail, Kelly, and Eve vs. Maryse, Katie Lea Burchill, and Alicia Fox. King says he lived with Kelly Kelly for about four months...until he found out she was there. Haha.

Criss Angel is talking to Hornswoggle and the Bellas want to be his guest assistants. Of course! The Mindfreak took a string from one's cleavage and he string it through his mouth and out his eye. Gross. But Jillian wants to be his assistant, too! She sings, but he puts a spell on her and she loses her voice.

Meanwhile, in Orlando, Christopher Daniels is cutting a promo on Sui...er, Kaz. X Champ Doug Williams comes out. After some promo time, Bischoff makes a match. They did a nice suplex/pin combination and had a pretty exciting match. Miz and Big Show were cutting a promo on Truth and Morrison on RAW, when they came out and had a match too. Not sure how that one ended. Williams wins his match and in comes Shannon Moore! Bischoff announces Moore as the new #1 contender.

Backstage, JB is talking to Dixie Carter, steaming over Sting's return.

RAW comes back from break with a promo on Cena/Batista. TNA wins with The Beautiful People against Sarita and Taylor Wilde, as well as Angelina Love and Tara in a triple-team match. My friends who don't watch are like, "Who are these bitches?!" Daffney hit Tara with the KO title belt for The Beautiful People to win the Knockout Tag Team titles.

Christy Hemme is with D'Angelo Dinero and my friend Jesse goes, "Wait, the [Catholic] Pope wrestles?" He doesn't say much because Desmond Wolfe attacks from behind, takes off Pope's show, and starts beating on his foot.

It's time for Randy Orton. WWE's efforts to make him a household name have failed, because my friend Billy asked who Orton was. As they go to break, Taz and Mike Tenay are talking about the Sting situation. Speak of the devil, here he comes! He comes out to a mixed reaction. His opponent is...ROB VAN DAM! RVD his a spin kick and pins Sting after a Rolling Thunder. Sting hits Rob Van Dam with the bat and leaves him laying. Well, this didn't match my thoughts at all.

I got to thinking: Has Sting ever been a heel? I can't remember a time in TNA where he has been. That mixed reaction he got earlier is now all heat after taking out RVD. Sting lays out some refs and Hulk Hogan comes out. Bubba The Love Sponge tries to hold him back. Thirteen years later...geez. They have to get half a dozen security guards and refs to hold him back. Rego point out how weird it is they're trying to hold back Hogan, yet they're letting the man in the leather jacket repeatedly nail RVD with a baseball bat. Hogan gives up and walks to the back, but Sting plows through security and nails Hogan. This has gone about 5 mintues too long.

Back on RAW, I catch the recap where Orton tried to hit the RKO and Legacy finally got some heat on Orton by winning their handicap match. Josh Matthews interviews Batista, who acts calm and cool.

In Orlando, Kevin Nash is with Eric Young cutting a promo on The Band of Scott Hall and Syxx-Pac as they go to commercial. During the break, Hall and Pac show up. Oddly enough, they are countered on USA with Triple H. It's like some odd Kliq reunion. Hall and Syxx are in the ring with Young and Nash, and a bunch of security. Hall says they say they want into TNA because "it's startin' to get cool." Apparently there's a match between the teams at Destination X for The Band to get a fat contract. But if they lose, they must leave TNA. Bischoff is sick of kicking security out, so he gives Waltman a fight with Eric Young. They have a pretty good brawl when EY hits the piledriver for the 3-count.

Some Army soldiers show up and Tenay says it's a takeover. Okay... In Portland, Triple H and Sheamus are involved in a brawl of their own. From Triple H's music, I suppose he got the best end of that fight.

Santino introduces himself to the Mindfreak Criss Angel and talks about being Italian or something. They do some trick with a knife and I hope the Mindfreak stabs his hand. But he doesn't. Bummer.

Kurt Angle comes out through a throng of soldiers. I don't really understand it. Something about soldiers being the heart and soul of America. "He'll probably explain it, it's like Pokemon," Rego said.

I got bored and they weren't paying attention so I turned it to a Money in the Bank qualifier to see Evan Bourne and William Regal, with Skip Sheffield. For some reason, Christian was on commentary and flanked by Heath Slater. I turn back to TNA and Mr. Anderson is brawling with Angle while the military tries to hold Anderson back. Lots of brawling and pull-apart brawls on Impact tonight. Bourne wins with the Airbourne.

WWE showed a little longer video with Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker set to Johnny Cash. Killer.

Hulk Hogan is talking to Bubba the Love Sponge when Earl Hebner shows up and wants back in TNA. BTLS says he won't get in Hogan's business, and tells Earl to stop something for Hogan.

As Tenay and Taz run down Destination X, WWE does a WrestleMania recall from 20 with Brock Lesnar and Bill Goldberg. They show Austin giving them the Stunner, probably to hype his return next week. Then the WWE announcers hard-sell WrestleMania 26.

Meanwhile, Jeff Jarrett is getting his ass handed to him by Mick Foley and Beer Money. Clearly, I missed something. They brawl and Jeff Jarrett winds up with the barbed-wire bat. Referee Slick takes it away from him, and Beer Money hits a sweet spike powerbomb type move. WWE announced a WrestleMania Rewind theme for next week, including John Cena vs. Big Show (WrestleMania 20), Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels (WrestleMania 19), and Triple H vs. Randy Orton (WrestleMania 25). Yeah, we haven't seen that one enough. Plus, Stone Cold Steve Austin will supervise the Bret Hart and Vince McMahon contract signing.

Brooke Hogan meets her dad backstage and more terrible acting ensues. Brooke begs him that this be his last time in the ring. So it won't be.

Vince McMahon adds his own rules to his match with John Cena, where Cena has to go through Kozlov, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, and Mark Henry.

Hogan is beating Flair's ass on Spike. Flair is bleeding like crazy (of course). They're redoing the match from earlier, with Hebner as the ref. AJ tells Brooke to sit down and shut up. Ha!

The Monster Abyss comes in and starts kicking ass! This is way more exciting. McMahon's music played so I can safely assume he won. Batista stands victorious over Cena after fending off Kofi Kingston as Hogan begins to Hulk up. Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on AJ and pins him. Desmond Wolfe comes out and nails him with a chair. The Pope D'Angelo Dinero shows up and clears house himself. Chaos ensues when Jeff Hardy shows up! Jeff hits the Twist of Fate on AJ Styles and was going up for a Swanton Bomb when TNA cut.

WWE NXT Review: Daniel Bryan's ribs hurt

NXT in Review:

We finally got to see the rest of the rookies this week. Justin Gabriel got beat up a lot before hitting a nice 450 splash. Wade Barrett dominated Daniel Bryan, and Skip Sheffield seemed like a mix of fun and ridiculous.

While Daniel Bryan by far had the best showing of anybody to date last week, they didn't follow that up very well this week, I thought. Not only was Bryan defeated by Barrett without much offense, but nobody else really stood out as a star.

Michael Tarver barely got any airtime (it was at the end, and he didn't talk), so he got the worst end of the stick this week. At least Slater got a segment with Christian and an apple to the face.

Matt Striker told us how the competition worked, but neglected to give us too many details. My hunch is that WWE is still working out how they want to do it and are just giving us what they've come up with after a week.

NXT Shot by Shot:

R-Truth kicks the show off. Not only is Truth's gimmick getting stale to me, but it's not giving the rookies any unique character to come out to their pro's music.

Matt Striker ties explaining the competition, saying the 8 WWE pros cast votes, but can't vote for or against their rookie. He doesn't really go into much detail about how votes are cast. These votes will apparently determine success or failure.

Darren Young is out, reluctantly accompanied by the Straight-Edge Society. The fans didn't know who to chant for in this rematch, but Young's taunt before the chinlock made him the heel and Otunga the face. I thought it'd be the opposite for both, for some reason.

The story was that Young wanted revenge for his short debut match last week, and that Punk wanted nothing to do with his rookie. The end saw Gallows and Truth get into an argument, and while the ref was distracted, Punk surprisingly tripped up Otunga. Young hit his finisher, which starts like a full-nelson into a full-frontal slam, and picked up the win. Afterwards, Otunga shoves Truth. Maybe I was right in my thought that Otunga would be a heel.

For as much as Cole hated the Internet last week, he talked a lot about the WWE Universe blogs during this match.

Daniel Bryan is profiled first tonight, talking about his decade in wrestling and being trained by Shawn Michaels.

Cole rips on Twitter, so he must hate anything outside the WWE bubble.

Bryan's highlights from last week are shown, including several shots of that sick table bump with his match against Chris Jericho. Backstage, Bryan's ribs are being checked out when his trainer, the Miz, comes up. Miz's lesson is that Bryan must fight though a "boo-boo" before slapping the sore spot.

A William Regal package? Really?

Backstage, Matt Striker tries to interview David Otunga. Truth comes in and the refs have to split them apart.

Chris Jericho introduces Wade Barrett, portrayed as a European bare-knuckle fighting champion and the largest competitor on NXT.

Barrett takes to Bryan's ribs early on, with Jericho saying on commentary that's what he instructed Barrett to do. Bryan's only real offense was a sweet running knee off the apron, but Barrett pins Bryan pretty soon after, the idea being that Bryan was too injured. The vulture World champion Chris Jericho attacks Daniel Bryan's ribs, locks in the Walls of Jericho, and leaves.

Christian psychs up Heath Slater in the gym. Slater says how great last week's reaction was, but Christian says they're still his peeps and that Slater needs to earn his own.

Justin Gabriel calls Matt Hardy his sensei - wow, is that a reference to the Mattitude Followers?

William Regal and Skip Sheffield enter. So this is the Cornfed Meathead? He's wearing a Steve Austin-style leather jacked with those words emblazoned on it. He seems really charismatic with a southern charm about him, talking about how much he loves to entertain - almost like a beefier Ken Anderson (...Anderson). Regal is disgusted.

Gabriel is described as only being America for a year, coming from South Africa. He doesn't get much offense (or character background) at all. I liked Regal's offense in this match, as they looked like they could be used in a barfight instead of just straight-up wrestling. Matthews calls a splash by Skip Sheffield as "vintage." How can it be vintage if nobody outside of Florida has ever seen the move? Cole is angry with Matthews for that line. Matt Hardy hits a sick-looking Twist of Fate on Regal, allowing Justin Gabriel to get the win with a 450 splash.

All of the rookies (minus the two who were in the match) are in place backstage and Carlito taunts them all with his apple. He spits in Heath Slater's face and says, "that's cool," which pisses Slater off. Slater asks, "that's cool?" Striker's weak response, "that's NXT."

My Opinion: RVD signs with TNA

Special note: I will be blogging on TNA's live Impact special on Monday, March 8. I will either DVR or probably skip my usual RAW review. I just have the feeling that Impact will have a much bigger feel to it.

Please follow me on Twitter to stay up to date!

Word hit the Internet today that Rob Van Dam has signed with TNA Wrestling in time for their second time pitting TNA Impact head to head with WWE RAW on March 8. While not explicitly saying it, Hulk Hogan told Jimmy Hart that a surprise signing would be "awesome" while doing RVD's signature thumb-pointing gesture.

I am always the first to criticize TNA for its propensity to sign guys that have worked for WWE. Guys like Matt Morgan and Elijah Burke have caught fire in TNA, but I'm worried guys like Orlando Jordan and Sean Morley won't have the same intensity.

But Rob Van Dam! Ever since he came into WWE following the WCW/ECW Invasion, I've liked Van Dam. During his RAW 15th Anniversary showing and Royal Rumble return, Van Dam still had it.

I'd like to think that RVD could feud with a number of TNA talents. Seeing him in the X-Division would be really cool, since RVD's "educated feet" would blend in well.

My initial dream match? Rob Van Dam vs. Samoa Joe. Both of these guys have a martial arts background, so their in-ring exchanges would be intense.

My second? Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson. I like both of these guys in the ring, but I think their verbal exchanges would be fantastic.

These are just one guy's thoughts on Rob Van Dam in TNA. Tell me how you think he should be used!

WWE RAW Review: Batista hates Cena, DX reunites (again)

In case you missed it, WWE released some folks over the weekend.

Talents included Paul Burchill, Charlie Haas, referee Scott Armstrong, and two I've met and gotten autographs from: Shane Helms and Maria.


Who knows what will end up happening to these folks? One would think TNA is counting down those 90 days. The wrestlers are all pretty sound in the ring. And Maria is looking to expose herself to new people on the upcoming season of Celebrity Apprentice.

Fun fact about Maria: She made her on-screen WWE debut in Peoria, Ill., during a live RAW on Nov. 1, 2004. This was her first appearance as a backstage interviewer and not just as a Diva Search contestant.

Now, onto RAW...

RAW in Review

I liked this show tonight. It did a lot to build towards WrestleMania while furthering the storylines. We got to see one confirmed new match in Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon, and we'll likely see Sheamus vs. Triple H.

Batista gave a really good promo on why he wants to wrestle John Cena. Plus, Legacy didn't get destroyed by Randy Orton tonight, but didn't really do anything to help themselves either.

RAW: Shot by Shot

I really liked that RAW kicked off with promoting Bret Hart for tonight, as well as the Orton-DiBiase match. It at least gives me a reason to care about the show.

HBK comes out and they show a video on last week's promo with the Undertaker, interspersing clips from each's WrestleMania highlights. Fans chant for Shawn and he looks surprised; I was surprised, too, since he's challenging the almighty Undertaker. Shawn talks about the WWE locker room not believing he can end the streak, and challenges anybody in the back to tell him he can't win. Surprise, surprise, Triple H shows up.

Triple H ends up giving Shawn a pep talk about ending the Deadman's streak while talking about invoking their rematch clause for the WWE Unified Tag Team titles. HBK accepts the rematch. Interestingly enough, they failed to even mention Big Show and the Miz by name.

RAW is just filled with surprises tonight - that can't be the Bellas hanging out with Cheech and Chong! Hornswoggle gives Chong hallucinogenic Lucky Charms out of a box he cleverly Photoshopped himself on.

I hated Randy Orton's character for the longest time - slow, boring promos and slow, boring matches. But I really like how he hasn't turned fully babyface yet, and I kind of hope he doesn't. This seems to be his schtick right now. Since he hasn't talked that much, it leaves a sort of mystery to him. Finally it's like we're not getting him shoved down our throat, and the fans get to make up their minds.

Man, after watching the Olympics, I really wish I had WWE in HD.

All Orton before the break, all DiBiase after. I didn't pay much attention to how the crowd reacted to DiBiase when they teased the Legacy break-up before, but whatever heat I read about before seems to be gone, it seems. Orton gets that "vintage" stomping in before Rhodes interferes. Orton swings at him and DiBiase tries the roll-up. Orton reverses the roll-up, but spears Rhodes - that was pretty sweet. DiBiase saves Rhodes from that second-rope DDT. Good, it was looking like Orton was going to destroy both again. I still think Legacy needs to get some good heat on Orton.

A mind-altered Cong is petting Eve's hair. To keep it PG, Cheech blames the delusions on sugar, asking why his partner is petting...William Regal! He also confuses Chris Masters for Kelly Kelly in a poorly executed voiceover. Hornswoggle and Chong peer-pressure Cheech into taking some of the Lucky Charms.

Jack Swagger squashes Santino to join Shelton Benjamin, Christian, Dolph Ziggler, and Kane in the Money in the Bank ladder match.

Backstage, WWE Champion Batista is walking towards the ring. King asks, "What's up with all that security?" Adam asks, "What's up with that stupid sleeveless leather vest thing?"

HBK-Taker video with a Johnny Cash song. Awesome.

After the break, Cena comes out and gets the "what?" chant. But people chant his name anyway...I don't get it.

Batista shows up with security guards, saying they're there to prevent him from demolishing Cena. Basically, Batista says he is jealous of John Cena's success even though they started in the WWE together, more or less.

Batista says they're the biggest two stars since the Attitude Era, and John shakes his head. Is he being modest or does he agree he doesn't measure up to guys like Stone Cold and the Rock?

Anyway, Batista and Cena have a really good exchange - probably the best Batista promo I've ever seen - and Batista challenges John Cena to say a catchphrase, but intimidates him into silence claiming John Cena knows he can't beat Batista.

MVP makes quick work of Zack Rider to join Money in the Bank. Has anybody else noticed that parts of Ryder's theme sounds like Corey Hart's "Sunglasses at Night," background beat for one of the greatest videos of all time - My New Haircut?

Divas pillowfight. Oh boy. I wonder why the heel Divas participate. Seems like something they wouldn't want to stoop to. Eve wins by pinning Alicia with something reminiscent of a kind-of RVD Rolling Thunder leg drop...thing. Then Hornswoggle starts throwing around Lucky Ludes everywhere, in something of an inappropriate transition to...

the announcement of Mad Dog Vachon into the WWE Hall of Fame.

Vince McMahon invites Bret "The Hitman" Hart out. I see with his injury, Bret has reverted back to wearing some awful-looking jorts. Well, maybe it's not the jorts. But the jorts-leather jacket combination. I dunno, this isn't E!

Bret Hart is pissed about his spoiled farewell two weeks ago. McMahon lies about having Hart give his final farewell, and cuts a promo challenging Hart at WrestleMania, telling him about all the wrongdoings McMahon has caused him.

That line about Bret being a Canadian hero bombed so hard on this Oklahoma City crowd.

McMahon goes on a tirade about Hart being a coward, kicking Hart's crutch out from under him. Hart finally gets so pissed, he accepts Vince's match at WrestleMania.

I'm not looking forward to this unless it's a short brawl. I can't say Bret isn't physically able to wrestle anymore because he knows better than anybody, but I can't imagine how great he can be physically after 10 years away from the ring. So let's hope this match is just an all out ass-kickin.'

Vince wants to show Bret he's 100% next week by wrestling Bret's biggest fan, John Cena. Randy Orton will also face Legacy in a handicap match. And who's going to be the guest host you ask? None other than the Mindfreak himself, Criss Angel.

DX and ShowMiz have a pretty sweet back-and-forth brawl until...surprise again! (Not really). The Undertaker is on the TitanTron, staring a hole through HBK. Distracted due to his tunnel vision, as Cole puts it, Miz rolls up HBK.

Dude, The Miz is having a great 2010. If he's not in some multi-man matches for the WWE title by the end of the year, I'll be surprised.

Michaels is upset in the middle of the ring, and walks away when Triple H tries to console him. Confused, Triple H misses the sneak attack from Sheamus!

I'm diggin' this WrestleMania card:

WWE Championship
Batista vs. John Cena

World Heavyweight Championship
Chris Jericho vs. Edge

The Streak vs. The Career
The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Kane vs. MVP vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Christian vs. ??? vs. ???

We'll probably see Triple H vs. Sheamus.

WWE SmackDown Review: Edge says "spear" a lot; Superstars cash in

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SmackDown Thoughts - 2/26/10

First of all, let's just clear up that I normally don't devote time to watch SmackDown for a variety of reasons - for a long time it was work, and now it's either homework or something else. But I stayed up late tonight since it was pre-empted in my area because the guys at PWinsider say it's been really good lately.

SmackDown tonight was an okay show, setting up more participants in the Money in the Bank match, featuring a no-build-at-all Women's title change, and continuing the Edge/Jericho storyline.

I wasn't blown away by anything, but it kept my attention. It seemed to me to have a lot of matches on it, and most of them were given some decent time. I definitely don't think anything was "must-see TV" so if you missed it, you're okay.

SmackDown: Shot by Shot

After some recaps, Chris Jericho came out to cut a promo on him being the Champion and why he's so awesome. Edge comes out and cuts a neat promo about all of Jericho's accomplishments, but how it took just one Spear to put him down Monday night. He repeats "Spear" a lot and the crowd catches on to ignite a new chant.

Nice Metallica nod by Edge telling Jericho that when he goes to sleep, he dreams about him "all nightmare long."

Jericho told Edge he would never get speared again. But as all promos devolve into physical confrontations (because grown men and women can't solve their problems with words), Jericho winds up getting speared anyway. I thought it would be a little more special if somehow Jericho could avoid it for a few weeks, maybe getting speared on the go-home show before WrestleMania to build the threat to Jericho's reign.

John Morrison gives his sunglasses to a little kid at ringside? I love this throwback to the Hitman. Even though he didn't win the Elimination Chamber, the announcers still make it seem like he played a big role in the match.

I also liked that David Otunga came out with R-Truth. It makes sense to promote NXT by having the rookie watch his pro in a match. I wondered if the other rookies would, but they didn't.

In this triple threat with R-Truth, John Morrison, and Dolph Ziggler, Matt Striker said that Otunga was watching the footwork of the superstars. How could he know that? And why are all three of these guys involved? Personally I'd love to see all three in the Money in the Bank match itself. Morrison hit Starship Pain on R-Truth, but Ziggler pulled Morrison out and got the pin on the Truth himself. So we've got Dolph Ziggler and Christian for Money in the Bank.

The show the Shawn Michaels-Undertaker package again. I cannot say how much I love the way this video was put together. To borrow a Michael Cole trademark, I wonder if they put that old-timey filter on it because their WrestleMania 25 match was had that "vintage" feel to it. I just really hope they keep Undertaker's Streak alive.

Vickie Guerrero is the guest ref for Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool, for the Women's title. How come Vickie hasn't gotten her own theme song yet? Mickie dominated most of the match before getting screwed out of the title by Vickie. Man, with the releases that happened in WWE today with Shane Helms, Paul Burchill, and especially Maria, I'm thinking Mickie might not be around much longer. They haven't helped her career at all.

Another Money in the Bank qualifier...why is Thunderstruck the theme song? I don't get it. But speaking of theme songs, Drew McIntyre's entrance makes him stand out. He cut a promo about being undefeated before their decent match, and Kane picks up the win. So much for Drew's streak.

Miz came out for a promo. Honestly I kind of spaced out until he said he was "AWESOME!" Teddy Long came out and told Miz he'd face Edge tonight. Nice.

Punk comes out with the Straight-Edge Society. He and Shelton Benjamin have a fun match before Rey Mysterio distracts Punk, allowing Benjamin to hit Paydirt for the win. These two are definitely heading towards a WrestleMania match, which could steal the show. I'm not a huge Mysterio fan, but I think that match would stand out from the rest of the pack.

The Miz and Edge met for what was billed as a "first-time ever" encounter. I think it's cool, but I also think about what RVD said about pushing people. Instead of superstar matches all the time, he liked seeing a wrestler squash somebody else. So if you had a bunch of people squashing nobodies, you'd want to see them fight eventually.

Nice to see that Daniel Bryan was watching his mentor backstage. He wasn't at ringside, but at least he's watching.

Edge picked up the victory here. I'm undecided if I like this. On one hand, Edge is the #1 contender going into Wrestle-friggin-Mania. On the other, Miz has been getting a mondo push lately. I was kind of hoping to see Chris Jericho interfere, but nope. I'll give the nod to Edge here since they're heading into the big show, but I'm still disappointed to see Miz not regain some heat.

Maybe Bryan chould've cost Miz the match or something. Or maybe they don't want NXT guys cluttering up the WrestleMania mix, because a Daniel Bryan-Chris Jericho exchange could've been fun, setting up a tag team match between Bryan & Edge and Jericho & Miz.

That's all for this week. Again, these SD recaps probably won't be regular. But since I was home tonight, it's a special bonus.

WWE NXT: Welcome to the Universe, Daniel Bryan

NXT in Review

Tonight was the debut of WWE NXT, billed as the next evolution in wrestling.  It did some different things - not using a hard camera, interviewing a rookie during his pro's match and utilizing a host (who did nothing more than act as a backstage correspondent).

As far as momentum, only one rookie got it as far as I'm concerned.  Clearly, Daniel Bryan will be the star of this show.  He had maybe not memorable, but definitely intriguing interactions with the Miz and a fun match with Chris Jericho.  I'm not complaining though, as I think given his cult following already, WWE made a wise choice in picking Bryan to be the face of NXT. 

Evolution?  A little hyperbole.  But it did the job in introducing a few new talents tonight, with the rest presumably debuting next week. 

One thought I'm left lingering with is how NXT is a competition.  They referenced it a few times but never specified what the competition was. 

Anyway, here's what I thought as I watched the show. 

NXT Shot by Shot

All the rookies stand backstage and the Miz pulls out Daniel Bryan, the former ROH sensation "American Dragon" Bryan Danielson.  Miz peps up Bryan, who comes out to Miz's theme.  As Bryan walks to the ring, Miz threatens Bryan to the audience. 

Michael Cole is calling the action next to Josh Matthews, with the NXT host being Matt Striker.  They're all really hammering Bryan's supposed lack of personality.  Remember another guy who didn't have personality?  Bret Hart, maybe?  I've never heard Bryan speak, so I'm not sure about that.

I like how they put the most well known wrestler out first with one of the better men on the mic, the Miz.  So far online, this has been the most talked about pairing.  The crowd seemed to be into this.  I doubt that many WWE fans know about him, especially the young ones, but maybe they're just so anti-Miz that they'll cheer anybody.  WWE acknowledged how things actually happen outside the WWE Universe, with Bryan saying he was sorry his mentor wasn't William Regal. 

Even after commercial, Bryan is still the focus, saying he won't get along with Miz.  It's cool they acknowledge he's wrestled twice as long as the Miz, but Striker is quick to point out that he has never wrestled for the WWE.  But tonight he wrestles Chris Jericho?!  Awesome!

Carlito introduces a video package on Michael Tarver, portrayed as a dangerous MMA specialist.  I guess the rookies don't even get music.  Christian comes out with Heath Slater and we see a video about Slater, a charismatic "rock star without the instruments."  This guy seems like a douche.  The jury's still out on Tarver.

The experiment with the boom camera is interesting.  Since it's an evolution, it at least looks a little different. 

The tag team match with the rookies and pros was okay, but I really wish the roles would've been reversed with Christian and Slater.  I think if this is about younger guys, Christian should've caused the distraction on Tarver, and Slater pick up the pin on pro Carlito. 

The look Punk had on his face with Darren Young was priceless!  I wonder if he'll try to convert Young to the Straight-Edge Society.  What is this guy, a Dragon Ball Z character?  The story is that Young is a party boy from South Beach.

David Otunga, boyfriend of Jennifer Hudson, is profiled as a Hollywood guy.  He compares himself to The Rock, Triple H and John Cena.  We'll see. 

This match is a 1-on-1 match between the rookies, but it doesn't last long.  Otunga uses a sloppy modified spinebuster to get the win.  Punk leaves and isn't happy. 

Wow, Michael Cole busted out the Tough Enough reference on Josh Matthews? 

After the RAW recap, Cole said he's something like Matthews' mentor.  Matthews acted insulted, saying JR still was mentoring Michael Cole via Twitter. 

Next week, we'll see more rookies. 

Jericho says Wade Barrett must introduce him.  Barrett is a European bare-knuckle fighter. 

Wow, Daniel Bryan's first WWE match is with Chris Jericho.  That's gotta be awesome for him.  Cole said he hadn't heard of him before he showed up to NXT.  C'mon Cole, at least try to win over the fans that hate you.  Man, he sounds like an idiot talking about how lame the independents are. 

Striker interviews Barrett about what he's learning from Jericho during the match.  That's something I haven't seen before - and if I have, it's been awhile. 

MAN that bump Bryan did into the chair looked sick!  They show all the rookies watching in the back and I'm not sure why.  Matthews references the competition, but I don't get it.

After the Codebreaker, the Champ wins.  But Bryan looked good in defeat, reversing the Walls of Jericho.  The Miz jumps in to start beating up Bryan.  They recap the match, and Cole said he equates watching Bryan to watching paint dry.  Is Cole doing a heel turn tonight or something?  He just hates Bryan.

The show ends with a recap, a la how TNA used to recap Impact.

WWE RAW: Road to WrestleMania receiving final touches and upgrades

RAW in Review

Tonight's RAW cemented two WrestleMania matches and left us to wonder when a third would be confirmed.  We immediately found out who Edge was going to face at WrestleMania, and we've got two things to look forward to next week. 

On the downside, ShowMiz make fools of themselves despite winning a match, and nothing is really done to further their characters.  Plus we had a really lame bullriding contest. 

Overall, I think RAW was working hard to push Wrestelmania, but fell flat in a few areas. 

RAW: Shot by Shot

A mechanical bull?  I'm guessing a Divas segment.  You don't just set up a bull for nothing.

Even though we saw Edge and Jericho a mile away, I'm so glad this is happening for the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania.  It was pretty obvious.  I'm just hoping what's not so obvious is Edge actually winning.  Let this feud go on for through the summer and have Edge chase the title.  Jericho's never had a long-term reign as the Champ. 

John Cena comes out right after this segment and he is PISSED.  I like how they didn't have Cena wait.  He's obviously mad from last night and he shouldn't have to be stewing until the 9 o'clock hour to demand a rematch. 

I like how Vince tells Cena it was his own fault for telling Batista if he wanted some to "come get some."  Plus he doesn't leave Sheamus out of the WWE title picture.  All John Cena has to do is beat Batista tonight to get a title match at WrestleMania.

I hope nobody bought that Pay-Per-View last night for the Divas title match.  If they did, they'll be angered to find that it's been relegated to RAW.  I was into this title tournament at first, but I have no interest in this one now.  No wonder it's the curtain-jerker. 

34 days to WrestleMania?  That seems like a lifetime compared to the 3- to 4-week breaks we usually have. 

Seriously, who didn't see Maryse winning this feud?  She got all the promos and all the talk by the announcers.  Gail Kim never stood a chance. 

Bellas and the guest host?  Nah, can't be. 

Eve looks really tall standing next to the rest of the Divas. 

Quote of the night: "Why does everyone slap me?!" - Jillian Hall

Whoa, wait.  Did Randy Orton not see Ted standing off camera the whole time?  And there's a plan?  I hope they'll do this in a way that doesn't kill Orton's face turn.  But if they have Orton totally destroy Legacy, that'll hurt them.  It's a slippery slope.  Hopefully this will be interesting. 

I see Yoshi Tatsu made the jump to RAW.  I wonder if fellow WWECW original Evan Bourne told him he might as well kiss his career goodbye.  Kofi's in about the same boat over the last month or so, too.  That poor curse that was...

Speaking of ECW, they haven't even pushed NXT yet.  But the word from PWinsider is that the former American Dragon will be appearing in a backstage vignette tonight.

Rhodes hits the Alabama slam.  Anybody remember when him and Hardcore Holly were tag team champs?  Yeah, me either. 

You think Kofi's offense will ever look - oh, I dunno - believable? 

Orton decimates Rhodes and DiBiase, and Bourne picks up the win for his team.  Not necessarily a solid win for them, but all things considered with Bourne lately, this is comparatively huge. 

Wow.  That HBK/Undertaker package was awesome!  See, in wrestling, the best thing is to keep it simple.  Shawn Michaels has been festering for a year over his loss to Taker, and now is doing anything to get a rematch.  So simple, but so compelling to see where he's taken this obsession to. 

Somehow Undertaker's entrance looks less menacing than usual.  Maybe it's him not walking through flames after getting burned last night; maybe it's the damn mechanical bull on stage right.  Anyway, Undertaker accepts on one condition: if the Undertaker puts up the Streak, Shawn Michaels puts up his career.

We made it 75 minutes into the show before getting the announcers' hard-sell on NXT.  Kind of a shock, really. 

Heath Slater: wat? At least Michael Tarver's promo was a little better.  You could tell both had memorized a script though...not a fan of that.

Anyway, ECW export Christian qualifies for Money in the Bank and at least Carlito doesn't totally get squashed. 

Divas ride the bull...pretty lame until ShowMiz's music hits.  I thought for a second the Big Show would actually ride the bull.  Oh wait...YES!  The only way Big Show taunting the bull could get any cheesier is if the bull had made noises.  I'm slightly comforted by the fact that Big Show actually knows how ridiculous this is and just wants to flex his acting muscle.  At least this ordeal a segue into a tag title match and they didn't just leave after playing with the bull. 

ShowMiz and Henry/MVP have an okay little match.  Not sure if the challengers will get a rematch, but that's my guess.  Either them or Punk/Gallows. 

Wendi Richter is going in the Hall of Fame?  I thought she hated the WWE. 

Did they actually explain why Vince McMahon chose Batista to go after Bret Hart?  Was the business deal in place before or after Batista attacked Hart? 

But Vince invites him back next week after denying involvement in the car crash, still hinting around about a match between McMahon and the Hitman.  At least it gives Bret a reason - other than age, concussion, stroke: things casual fans might not think about - about why he probably can't live up to what most probably expect of him. 

It's 10 p.m. and uh, where is Sheamus?  Orton faces Ted DiBiase next week...let's hope it's a schmoz ending so that we can save their first real match for a pay-per-view. 

Who actually expected a real match between these two?  10:05 and Batista just gets into the ring?  Yeah, okay. 

Seriously, where the hell is Sheamus? 

So I'm guessing by the low blow, Batista actually wants to face John Cena at WrestleMania.  I mean, by DQ, Cena won the match.  And Vince never put any stipulations on it, so I'm guessing this match is set.  Who knows?  Whatever.

Fantasy WrestleMania 26 Card

I got to catch the Royal Rumble last night.  I won't go into details about the match or event as a whole, but here's a few quick observations.

-I don't buy the Rey Mysterio character.  Never have, never will.  The underdog thing doesn't do it for me.  But, despite that, I loved seeing Rey hit two 619s on Taker to show that Taker probably wouldn't go down with just one.

-Why was the Royal Rumble match all about a guy coming in, hitting a trademark move on everybody in the ring, and then getting attacked by the next guy's move 90 seconds later?  And how come the ring never really filled up?  Some of those guys should have been in longer (Matt Hardy, Kane, Big Show, Mark Henry, even Beth Phoenix).  I know the main story was Shawn Michaels trying to find a way to the Undertaker at WrestleMania, but I wanted to see more from Jack Swagger and CM Punk especially.

That being said, I'm going to ignore whatever plans are in store for Elimination Chamber in 3 weeks, and sketch out my fantasy WrestleMania from bottom to top.  I will try to provide a logical portrait of the events that transpired to get us there.

Since I haven't bought Snow Leopard to run Windows on my Mac, I'll just have to do this without booking EWR.  Plus I don't even think some of these guys (Ted, Yoshi, Ryder, etc.) would be in that game unless I downloaded a special roster.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Drew McIntyre vs. John Morrison vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Zack Ryder vs. Yoshi Tatsu vs. Evan Bourne vs. Rey Mysterio


Spotfest city!

WWE Unified Tag Team Championship Match
The Hart Dynasty vs. CM Punk & Luke Gallows (c)

I would hope, with the recent return of Bret Hart, that this is where he'd come into play.  I think all of these guys could have a good tag title match since there seems to be (just slightly) more emphasis on tag teams. 

ECW Championship
Vance Archer vs. Christian (c)

I think after Vance Archer (the former Lance Hoyt) finishes up with Benjamin, he may be the next in line for the ECW title. 

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase

I'd like to see them tease where Cody would go between these guys.  Cody would finally align himself with somebody during this match, effectively ending Legacy as a unit. 

WWE United States Championship
Jack Swagger vs. The Miz (c)

My guess is that even though they are technically heels, more fans would cheer for the Miz at this point.  I like the two of these guys, but I'm not sure of the backstory here. 

WWE Championship
Edge vs. Big Show vs. Chris Jericho (c)

Edge is mad at his partner for bailing on him.  When Edge went down so early in their reign as Tag champs, Jericho heeled him and brought out the Big Show as a replacement.  A dominant tag team bringing some meaning back to the belts, JeriShow's reign was stopped by DX.  Jericho heels Show for not being a good enough partner, and Edge is pissed at the two of them. 

That's how the tag situation worked and that's why they're mad.  But how does Jericho get the WWE Championship?  After having to leave RAW as a result of the tag titles, some guest host says that the only way he can come back is if he can win the Elimination Chamber in February.  Thus ends Sheamus's streak as champion.

Clearly, this match was the inspiration for this post since most of my thought went into it.

Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H

As much as I hate to see this feud rehashed, they generally produce good matches.    And with the inevitable breakup of the Nth reincarnation of D-Generation X, a program between these two makes sense.  My ideal twist for this involves Triple H turning heel on Michaels in his chase to get to the Undertaker for the World Championship. 

I don't know where Hornswoggle lies in this, and I don't care.

World Heavyweight Championship
John Cena vs. The Undertaker (c)

I don't know how this would take place.  But it's been around 7 years since their last program, so I'd be okay to see another one.  I think Cena would have to play the heel in this one due to his mixed reactions.  Honestly, John Cena was the only major WWE name I didn't have on this card, but thought he should be on here.  But these two are arguably the two most popular stars on the card, and I think this match would be fun for the big-time match feel, if nothing else.

Old People

In my 2+ years at the grocery store, I've had the (sometimes mis)fortune of meeting a lot of old people.  I'm aware that the world, as a whole, is an aging culture, as taught to me several years ago in my sociology class with one fantastic senior citizen in Mr. Chuck Leonard.  But for how a town that boasts a high school fed by multiple districts, there are a hell of a lot of old people here.

For some, the IGA is likely their only connection to the outside world.  My experience tells me that they just want to get out.

One in particular is a nice older lady.  For awhile she came in late at night after I'd sent the last checker home.  I'd seen her in a lot, and after a few times, she revealed to me that she'd lost her husband.  I don't remember any of the rest of the conversation, but figured this might have to do with the fact that some older folks come in every day of the week.

But once isn't enough for a particular old man, who in one shift I've seen come in at least twice and heard he was already there before I've gotten there.  He's a shy guy but he'll always flash his smile.  Despite coming in multiple times a day, he's got a wife.  So I really can't figure out why he's in there.  One would guess he might want to escape from her, but he usually ends up dialing the Missus for one reason or another.

The real inspiration for this post came from working Friday morning.  I'm going to backtrack and say that the night crowd I'm used to working with is, on the whole, a more youthful crowd, with the biggest exception being two people who work third shift at the nursing home.  One regularly buys a few items and never wants her receipt.  The other usually only buys candy, paid for with a crisply bent dollar or two, plus change from his leather zip-up wallet.

But I digress.

While nightside is by and large a more youthful crew, it does have its old people.  But not nearly as many in the morning.  And, in my experience, old people in the morning are grumpy and unwilling to help me or themselves.

I was stocking the shelves with items freshly delivered that morning.  I caught eyes with an old lady and thought, as a manager, I should smile at her and say hi.  She thought, as a customer/old lady, she would just glare back at me.  No smile, no wave, not even a blink.  I kept walking.

Later on I encountered an old man.  This particular one felt, despite the narrow aisles of the store, he was required to take up what little room there was with his cart while bent over looking for the cheapest can of soup.  Carrying something which required both arms and knowing I'd never make it through the sliver of empty space he left, I said, "Excuse me," which got him to slowly turn around and look at me.  I readjusted what I was carrying and had to move this man's cart for him.

I should probably use this point to stop and discuss old people driving - not long, but just enough.  Ambling with canes, heads cocked to the side and leaning on the cart just to stay on two legs, it is my belief that folks who can barely walk should not be behind the wheel of a 2,000-pound motor vehicle.  At least they're driving slow.

I started this post speaking positively of old people and I think I should end it that way, instead of just badmouthing them. 

This one particular old guy came into the store to get some water softener salt.  He came in, paid for it, and when the two workers were loading it up for him, he noticed a difference in what the sheet of paper said above the salt outside the store and the price it rang up at.  It took me awhile to figure out what he was getting at (old people have a weird way of asking for things.  One guy said "yeah, gimme a couple lottery tickets."  "I'm sorry, how many?"  "TWO!"  Just tell me two in the first place, old man.)

I finally figured it out and he goes, "I don't mean to be a bitch..." and I had to go back inside because I was laughing so hard at those words coming out of this guy's mouth. 

He was refunded his money and sent on his merry way.