WWE vs. TNA in Review
Since TNA aired one hour earlier tonight, that means we got three hours of wrestling.
For some reason, TNA was obsessed with keys tonight. And it wasn't even spread out either. Right after a match where four Knockouts got keys, Mr. Anderson won the key to the cage at Lockdown.
We also finalized the Lethal Lockdown lineup.
Over on RAW, WWE had a more common theme - that is, setting up a few new feuds after WrestleMania (Randy Orton and Jack Swagger?, Christian and Ted DiBiase) while keeping a few around (Triple H and Sheamus, Batista and John Cena).
TNA Impact: Shot by Shot
I missed the first five minutes of Impact or so doing homework.
So glad to hear Abyss say he's still a weapon of mass destruction.
Why does TNA make such a big deal about the WWE Hall of Fame? Seriously, that's been the main plot behind the Abyss push. Flair mentioned it in his awesome promo. Focus on something else.
Speaking of Flair's promo, how do you think the interview process was like for Chelsea? "So...can you push a 60+-year-old man around in a wheelchair? You can? Great!"
If it looks like the heels are going to gang up on the babyfaces in the ring, why would the faces coming to the rescue take the slowest route through the crowd? Couldn't they at least come through that path RVD took on March 8 to surprise Sting?
They really need to change Rob Van Dam's music.
In keeping with making the slow save, it took Jeff Hardy a whole commercial break to attack James Storm.
I didn't catch what this lockbox challenge is all about, but it has thoroughly confused me with the Knockouts promo in the back.
Wasn't Homicide a heel?
And how hard was Homicide working to make "The Freak" Rob Terry look good? Maybe "good" isn't the right word. Maybe it should be "less awful."
Good GOD that chairshot Homicide gave to Rob Terry looked sick, especially since Terry immediately started to bleed. I hope they're not going to have him get repeatedly busted open hardway with a chair or it's well on the way to Chris Benoit territory.
I can only assume Homicide's chairshot turned Orlando Jordan on since he came out afterwards. What's confusing to me (besides the Orlando Jordan character) is whether he was turned on by the chairshot itself, or a bleeding and fuming Rob Terry.
Mike Tenay did his damndest to explain the clusterbomb that was Knockouts Lockdown Showdown. It's like they tried to put as many subplots as possible into one match. I won't even bother explaining the rules, so we'll wait to see the results of who opens what lockbox later.
But backstage, the show the boxes are open with what they have inside. So, the lockboxes are open? What's the point of the keys, then? Right, right, trying to use logic in pro wrestling.
TNA is really into keys tonight, since Angle and Mr. Anderson are in a ladder match to retrieve the key to find out who opens the cage first at Lockdown.
I wish we could see Angle adapt that move where he rushes up the ropes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but instead runs up the ladder and does it. That'd be awesome.
Man that fall Angle took looked sickening.
WWE vs. TNA: Shot by Shot
But even that match isn't stopping me from tuning into see the new World Heavyweight Champion, the ALL-AMERICAN AMERICAN, JACK SWAGGER. This State of the Championship stuff is great.
I like how Swagger put over Jericho as a superior champion than Cena. Speaking of which, I tune back to TNA upon hearing Cena's music.
Mr. Anderson takes the key after choking Angle out.
I hope David Otunga didn't pay for that shitty haircut. Otunga sets up Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton, as well as ShowMiz vs. ...Batista and John Cena. With the titles on the line. I guess it has been a few years since rivals won the titles together.
Meanwhile, The Band interrupts Team 3D vs. the Motor City Machine Guns and lays everybody out.
Triple H has a nice line about an Irishman bringing a pipe to a sledgehammer fight. Ha.
WWE does a "Dress to Impress" Divas battle royal, where the winner gets a match with Maryse. They are all in evening gowns like they're on the red carpet. Did the WWE creative team have a meeting with the TNA creative team tonight to see what ridiculous things they could put their women talents through tonight?
Man Maryse sucks on commentary. Eve goes on to face Maryse next week.
Not that I don't like both guys, but how many weeks in a row are we going to see the Pope vs. Desmond Wolfe?
I dunno if it was intentional or not, but I liked how Pope was knocked into the cameraman, like the production crew wasn't expecting AJ Styles to attack him.
WWE RAW in Review
Putting Cena and Batista together in a tag team match like Sandra Bullock and Jesse James? Wow, Michael Cole. Wow.
The match doesn't go long before Batista coaxes Cena out of the ring, and there's a countout. Otunga makes a rematch for later, except Otunga is in Batista's place.
Ted DiBiase came out with the Million Dollar Championship and my phone rang. I'm not too sad about that. Christian and DiBiase had a rematch from last week and DiBiase won. Meh.
There is a WWE Draft on April 26. Sweet.
I just realized I missed who opened the cases from the Knockouts lockbox match. Whatever.
Orton beat Jack Swagger in a decision I don't agree with. If you're trying to push your new champion, wouldn't you have him pin one of the hottest stars in the industry, even if by some schmoz? I know I would if I were on a creative team.
David Otunga heels on John Cena, allowing Miz and Big Show to win. I guess that's two in a row tonight. Batista comes out and lays out Cena, invoking his rematch clause in a Last Man Standing match at Extreme Rules.
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